Today was my last day of freedom - that is, the last day I had no work, no student-teaching, no classes, no homework. I had nowhere to be and thus, decided to go nowhere. I caught up on television shows, baked blueberry muffins, did laundry and vacuumed, and organized my filing drawer to get ready for the semester.
Yesterday, I officially started freaking out about everything. Thoughts ranged from the small (time to buy a new notebook) to the medium (how will I pick a topic for my Masters Project?) to the grandiose (oh my freaking god I have to update my resume and graduate and start applying for jobs soon and I'm going to fail at life!).
Tomorrow night, I have a class. On Friday, I have my last official day with Fox. This weekend I have small plans (dinner with an old roommate and a Rubblebucket show). And then Monday, it all begins. I dive right into my student-teaching placement for five days a week and will start slowly taking over the classroom as early as two weeks from now (oh my god, oh my god...). I'm extremely nervous for this placement. I'm not sure what my cooperating teacher is like, I'm not sure how much of a struggle my signing skills will give me, and I'm not sure what kind of students I have or what kind of curriculum I'm going to be working with.
Don't get me wrong, I am so excited - I have been waiting for this for two years. There are just so many additional factors that are going to be foreign to me this semester on top of the extra responsibility load compared to last semester's student-teaching.
All I can do right now, though, is breathe. One breath at a time. Keep my chin up. Tell myself that I am absolutely capable and that there are people who will help me if I hit any roadblocks. I have survived everything that I've been faced with before and I will survive this too.
So, cheers to the lovely vacation I've had and to the extremely insane but rewarding semester I hope to have starting next week.
2 comments:
I can't even begin to imagine all the stress that you're describing, but just know that you are going to be incredibly successful, learn so much, and truly conquer this next step. You have faced plenty in your life, but this will be one of those chapters that ends in great accomplishment and the start to a new life. I'm so proud of you and can't wait to watch you shine!
You're going to do wonderfully - you are MADE to be a teacher, and you will have such an exciting, fulfilling, and rewarding career in your lifetime. Chin up, baby! xo
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